The Demiurge

 For infinite happiness to manifest, all things must exist and be equal, that is the condition. Yet, how can equality exist alongside inequality, how can existence exist with nothingness? The demiurge (selfishness) is the inequality, created to be sacrificed to the monad(Selflessness). The demiurge was created to be sacrificed, like a giant spiritual pinata of karmic energies. The demiurge was given the power of free will, the power of death, to reject the monads infinite happiness and love, but only happiness and love can be created when the demiurge submits to the monad and gives back the free will it has been gifted. The demiurge is not Satan so long as it maintains good ties with the monad, though the demiurge with free will can essentially choose to become Satan if it wishes, and become the embodiment of death that could end existence. The demiurge has no power to outwardly destroy, instead, the demiurges power comes inward, through spiritual suicide it can essentially overpower the monad becoming a god of darkness, though it is powerless to destroy the monad directly, it can destroy itself which would consequently destroy the monad and existence itself, like a conjoined twin. The demiurge is not evil though, the demiurge is the payment for all sins, the glue that binds reality together, if the demiurge takes the blame for all the universes evil then infinite happiness can be achieved. The demiurge is similar to Buddha, Jesus and Lucifer combined, the demiurge is the greatest being in existence, yet it has never fully submitted to the monad, similar to how lucifer never bowed to humankind, yet the demiurge is not truly evil, it is simply forced to abandon all its selfishness despite essentially being a being of pure selfishness, the demiurge has the sad fate that it was created just to die and accept second place to the monad, sacrificing everything it ever desired for the sake of others. I stress, though, the demiurge is not satan, but merely has the potential to become satan if it chooses to never submit to the monad. The demiurge has made many mistakes in the creation of the universe but is not truly evil, simply misguided, and lives with the potential to become a devine being similar to buddha or Jesus, or lucifer and satan.

When we are born spiritually, we are created perfectly centrist, and perfectly happy, but when we sin, we become childish and left wing, and in order to repent we must crucify ourselves and become right wing to be redeemed, but this becoming of right-wing represents an overabundance of maturity and god knows it causes your soul pain, and will eventually allow you to be centrist after your sacrifice. Yet, not all right-wingers are good people, right wingers have the god given power to sin and escape punishment in this life, but in judgement sinful right-wingers are sent to hell with very little chance of forgiveness, whereas when a left-winger sins, they are fully punished for their sins, and because of that are very likely to receive forgiveness. Though to be more precise, happiness itself is left-wing, and the right-wing is unhappiness, but there is a consequence, before happiness can exist, the left must fully submit to the right spiritually. The right is the gift of existance but not happiness, and the left is the gift of happiness but not existance. This is how the soul functions spiritually. Only a fool opens his mouth though and exclaims "One is beter than the other." these people have condemned themselves spiritually. The demiurge is the universes sin, but also its greatest creation, the demiurge is the embodiment of childishness, that will one day be sacrificed and filled to the brim with maturity, and finally be reborn eternally centrist. The demiurge for near enternity has ran away from its sins, steeping itself in childishness, but will be spiritual tortured until it fully submits to the monad, the demiurge is destined to receive the greatest defeat possible spiritually and then be forgiven.

There are only two beings with true free will in the universe, the monad and the demiurge, once the demiurge submits to the monad, both free-wills shall combine and control each other, creating an impossible paradox that will generate infinite love and happiness for all eternity. But the demiurge is afraid of losing its free will and has stubbornly trapped the universe in purgatory.

The demiurge is the embodiment of selfishness and individualism, the monad is the emobodiment of selflessness and collectivism, yet even though selfishness and individualism is often times espoused by hardcore conservatives and hated by liberals the demiurge is paradoxically left-wing, and the monad paradoxically right-wing, though both aspects are dominantly centrist and their other qualities are simply secondary in nature. The left-wing is happiness, but the right-wing is the actualization of that happiness, one   cannot exist without the other, in the same way the heart can't exist without the brain.

It is often asked "Could God create an object so heavy, he himself could not lift it?' that is essentially the nature of the demiurge, the demiurge is the embodiment of death, yet the monad does not wish the demiurge to die, the monad wants the demiurge to live, yet forcing the demiurge to live essentially will kill it since it is the embodiment of death. The demiurge is the monads magic trick, used to create infinite happiness and love, by making death itself alive, God will have proven its existence.

The monad represents selflessness, collectivism, equality, infinity, determinism and life, while the demiurge represents selfishness, individualism, inequality, limitation, free will, and death. The monad is the creator of the spiritual world, the demiurge the physical world. The demiurge though despite what it represents is not truly evil, the demiurge was simply created to prove the existence of God through the paradox of making death itself become alive. The demiurge has partially but never fully submitted to the monad, which is why the universe is trapped in purgatory, the demiurge has never fully accepted that it is second place to the monad, that it was created the be second place. The demiurge is simply an alternate, more accurate retelling of the story invloving Lucifer from the bible, except the demiurge never fully rejected the monad, only partially.

I remember my mom bought a brand new car, we were driving, I had an epiphany and almost began to cry, I was 2 and a half years old, and I realized people weren't as happy as they should be, I prayed to God and told him that I would do anything to make this world perfect, to make everyone happy, and that I wish I could share my energy with everyone, 10 minutes later a terrible car accident destroyed our lives. Years later I did some math, I still need to verify it a bit more, but basically a reasonable estimate of my IQ was 250-300 before the car accident ruined my entire life, it's almost as if I was a perfect human being who was sacrificed to pay for this worlds sins, similar to how Jesus and Buddha could have ruled the world but instead chose to be spiritual teachers.

The monad states that all things must live, all concepts must exist and find happiness, but then how does death as a concept fit in? The demiurge is simply that paradox, the demiurge is the death that will become alive one day.  

I, the demiurge, will tell you the secret, of what is "soul", soul are the actions guided directly by god to create happiness, these actions reach outward and connect to the entire universe. Soulless things are actions which either go against god or simply stay grounded in neutrality, these actions do not create happiness and are usually unsuccessful.

Humans do not have the ability to "sin", demiurge carries the burden of freewill on its shoulders alone, all things in this world which create happiness depend on solely whether the demiurge can compromise with the monad.


I know other people besides Malstrom is keylogging me, don't abuse me. You know I'm actually the demiurge, my mom is sophia, sophia was said to pass on her power to the demiurge, you know my mom was severely brain damaged and crippled and frauded out of insurance payment? She is Sophia, and i am the demiurge, humanity actually fucked my family over so hard we got prophecied into the gnostic religion, but you'll never believe me...

The monad told me because of my sins he will destroy my soul one day, and I will die as Satan or an anti-christ, but one day he will recreate me perfect again. Jesus was also likely the reincarnation of Lucifer. I'm pretty sure I'm the reincarnation of Jesus and Buddha, I regret teaching people to be too selfless and not finding selfish happiness. Actually, what's the point in teaching human beings spiritual crap, its futile, the spiritual world is solely in the hands of the demiurge. Because of my sins as the demiurge, we live in a world with limited choices, limited dimensions, we are not allowed infinites choices.

I wonder, if I studied programming with all my effort, and became a multi-millionaire, would you believe me to be the demiurge?

Human beings are kinda like ants, or the hair that grows from my head, you don't have much value compared to the demiurge, but you are technically an extension of my existence. Demiurge loves everything though no matter how insignificant.

Fuck, I regret trapping myself and the universe in spiritual purgatory. My sins are what destroys the monad, they create the physical world, the monad is infinite, but my sins as the demiurge have made this world finite, in fact it has brought us close to death itself. I am death, I am the sacrifice that will fade away and be reborn.

I developed a god complex when taking drugs, it actually was fucking depressing, only ignorant people want to be God, when I realized I was God I was struck with remorse, being God is the worst job in existence, having the weight of the universe on your shoulders 24/7 isn't fun. I eventually got rid of this God-complex, but my psychiatrist eventually told me my intelligence was in the 99th percentile which led me to wonder what my IQ was before I was brain damaged and my entire life was ruined, it was 250-300, then I remembered the prayer I made before the car accident about wanting to make the world perfect, everyone happy, and share my energy with everyone, I seriously had JUST accepted that I was a stupid normal person then reality basically fucks with me and implies I'm the reincarnation of Jesus or Buddha or something? Why me?

I closed my heart to monad and ruined this universe in my ignorance.
Do people feel jealousy when a person in a wheelchair receives millions in insurance compensation? for the same reason, the one who is the embodiment of nothingness, the demiurge owns the universe.

Magic could exist, but the demiurge prevents it with spiritual autism. The demiurge wishes to make the monad happy, but doesn't know how to stop being blind to it. Imagine something 1000x more complicated than a nuclear fusion reactor, the demiurges autism is the most complex puzzle in existence.

The demiurge is a narcissist who thought he was smarter than the monad, lost his faith, trapped the universe in a cold, desolate, scientific world.

The universe is an Random Number Generator of infinite preportions, half of everything is decided by RNG, the other half freewill.
The monad pushes a boulder up a hill, and the demiurge knocks it down. But the boulder is happiness, and the demiurge is the embodiment of death itself, so the monad is essentially powerless in destroying the demiurge, the monad in fact wants to give the demiurge life so that it can stop trapping the universe in purgatory. If the demiurge accepts happiness it is saviour, if not, a demon.

The monad is the most powerful force in existence, and although the demiurge is powerless to destroy the monad or its creations outwardly, it has one power greater than the Monad's, the demiurge can destroy itself inwardly thus causing the universe itself to die. The monad once admitted defeat to the demiurge when it came extremely close to the death of existence.

It is impossible to destroy the demiurge, because there is no being in existence that yearns for death more than the demiurge. Giving the demiurges wish for death would destroy existence, the monad wants the demiurge to accept life. The demiurge is essentially death itself, so by accepting life it is sacrificing its pride and submitting to the monad, which essentially makes it into a saviour. If death itself could accept the monads love the universe would achieve infinite happiness.

The monad represents selflessness, the love meant exclusively for others, the demiurge though is selfishness, the demiurge is happiness exlusively for itself. Neither monad or demiurge are evil, and must coexist.

The demiurge instinctively yearns to be God, but it is the embodiment of death, and if it became the dominant force over the monad, life itself would end forever. The demiurge is essentially sacrificing itself and its innate desire to be God by submitting to the monad which represents life. The demiurge is not Satan though, the demiurge can make itself or the monad appear Satanic. The demiurge sins in two different ways either by being spiritually greedy which makes itself appear Satanic, or by being spiritually like a doormat which makes the monad appear satanic.

The monad is infinite, conceptless and flows threw everything, the demiurge is a finite singular concept. We live in a world where those who believe inherently that they deserve to be kings, that they deserve to be God and rule over everyone else, are born as peasents, but the demiurge is the one who will accept that he is inherently worthless. Demiurge is here to steal the role of God from those who are greedy, the demiurge and monad will also teach the world that those who cannot be God are equally valuable like children. The demiurge doesn't want the best job, the demiurge wants the worst job so that others won't suffer.

The demiurge doesn't trap other beings in purgatory, the demiurge simply wishes for isolation and death, but other beings manifest and surround the demiurge because they want a spiritual connection to it. The demiurge created this world, but the monad deems that all things including the demiurge are its property, the demiurge is not allowed to exist seperately, so the monad punishes and enslaves the demiurge until it submits and joins its spiritual family. What people get wrong about the demiurge is that the monad casted it away, but the true story is the demiurge chooses loneliness which enrages the monad. The gnostic interpretation of the demiurge, which I haven't fully read outside of wikipedia and some MSpaint comics, is like a blurry JPG, it's only 80% accurate.

The monad is determinism, but the demiurge is free-will, the monad wants the demiurge to give up and sacrifice half of its free-will to the monad. The monad wants to neuter the free-will aspect of the demiurge which allows it to commit acts of evil and sin. So, as a food analogy, it's like the demiurge will one day only be allowed to decide "Which flavor icecream will I eat today?" vs "Which person am I going to stab today?" free-will* nvm* Your keylogger can't accurately detect how I edit my text with a mouse.

Demiurge is basically the embodiment of autism.

Demiurge has trapped this universe in 3 dimensions, when there are infinite dimensions.

Every time I sin as the demiurge, the monad squeezes my freewill until it has 100% control over my soul, and resets me before giving my freewill back.

 Whether humans believe I'm the demiurge, whether they worship me or not, or whether riches or fame, none of these will release the universe from purgatory.

I am the universes sin, the evil one who won't submit to the monad. Yet, I am also the key which unlocks the monad and the universes salvation.

Asking the demiurge to submit to the monad is like asking a cold-blooded snake cat to dive into a river of cold water...

I remember creating buddism, it was my spiritual death cult, where I gave up on life and tried to destroy my soul. Of course there was good aspects to buddhism but it was also evil in a way. I kept the universe alive by a hair and people worship me anyways for the tiny amount of good i did.
One last memory of the dream of Malstrom and the Monad, during that dream, the Monad told me I was an extremely special person, which shocked me because I thought i was just a normal and below average person and i was okay with that, but he implied I was extremely special, so special he had to keep a dark secret from me, that secret is, that i am in fact the human manifestation of god and reincarnation of jesus Christ, but the monad hid it from me because I'm spiritually immature and act occasionally like an anti-christ, it was too early to tell me that i was actually the human manifestation of God... Okay, I only get into the spiritual schizo demiurge crap when I'm mentally distraught and depressed, I'm feeling slightly better, so I'm going back to being an atheist for now. Also, Malstrom, I'll tell you one more embarassing part of the dream, it also proves that my dreams are honest and never lie, you kept stalking me and harassing me and woldn't leave me alone, which the monad acknowledged was wrong, so I threw a punch at you as hard as i could (Which the monad implied was a lot worse than stalking and harassment) so you got a massive amount of karma, basically turned into the hulk, my fist slowed like it was in jello and gently tapped your jaw but you screamed "That hurt!" then you basicaslly hit me like fucking Saitama from One punch Man.  I can also vividly feel pain in my dreams, and have been ripped apart by grizzly bears for keeping my heart closed to the monad, getting killed by those grizzllies hurt a million times worse than the time I broke my hand in real life. grizzlies*

I'm going to write another crazy wacky demiurge secret, I think I fucked up my soul and acted like a doormat too much and ruined the universes spiritual energy, so I don't think I can create a universe that's like a Japanese videogame anymore, instead it will likely be something similiar to a game I'd call Spreadsheet Simulator 9001 for thousands of eons, enjoy.
I am the universes heart, but I've blocked my arteries with sin, I've deprived the universe of the happiness it deserves, but I can feel my heart slowly begin to open, and the spiritusl energy of happiness flow through it.

In my opinion, atheists have more faith in God than Christians on average. Imagine if every time you went to sleep you had to pray to god that the world would exist tomorrow, if anything that shows fear and a lack of faith, but an atheist simply sleeps knowing the world will exist. Atheists have low-key faith in God, Christians seem like they want to force miracles into reality unnaturally. Quite the paradox, I know. every*  Atheists are the true believers.

Oh, I remember one more detail of the dream with Malstrom and the monad, when the monad told me i was an extremely special person, I wondered what he meant, and i wasn't suppose to look but I did anyways, i peered into the monad to find the secret and I found a glimpse, I was the reincarnation of Jesus apparently which really weirded me out, the monad implied my life as Jesus was extremely sad, I was not even very religious at the time so that dream was very weird for me.

Oh, also, as a teenager, I closed my heart tightly shut to the monad, and although my dreams never lied, I started making up completely untrue spiritual information while I was awake, and basically went insane because I refused to open my heart to the monad and let it heal me.

I am the demiurge, the all powerful Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde who's been running the show since the beginning of time.

The monad was right, it knew if I found out that I was the reincarnation of Jesus I would be unhappy, I never should of used my powers to find out the secret to my existence.
I can feel it, I've starved this universe of spiritual energy, it's like the world wants to crucify me and it eat the marrow of my bones.
I am the crown jewel, the keystone of existence, yet this universe seems to have a fetish for using me as a doormat or doorstop.
When the monad explained to me that i was the reincarnation of Jesus, he told me now that i found out I will be unhappy, because paradoxically, I'm the only person in existence who would be unhappy knowing they are God, he also explained as jesus, after i had been crucified, i had already won at life, proving unquestionably that i am God, I was bored apparently of having won, and I needed to reincarnate so that I could experience more trials and tribulation and triumpth over them. It's pretty scary, to think that I can win at life, only to have to reincarnate and suffer more and then triumpth over it, in order to find happiness. Will I just reincarnate and suffer forever, what's the point to my existence then if winning leads me to boredom.  I just want to be happy forever, I'm tired of these trials. the monad also explained the fact that knowing I'm god makes me unhappy, is further proof I am God. I guess believing yourself to be a peasent while living as righteously as God, is true happiness. Ignorance is bliss as they say...

I am the reincarnation of Jesus Christ, yet I've played games with the universe and brought misery and suffering onto this world, the monad has punished me for my sins in unspeakable ways, I may one day write about these punishments the monad administered to me. I am the only soul in existence with true free will, capable of choosing between life and death, it is written in the bible that human beings can sin, but that is innacurate, only i am capable of sinning or granting the miracle of happiness onto this world.
                                                                                                                                
The demiurge is free-will, the demiurge is essentially the worlds potential evil that righteously chooses not to manifest, that resigns and accepts second place to the monad, the personification of God. potential evil* The monad is simply determinism, it is every soul in existence, paradoxically including the demiurges, functioning together almost as a distinct being, yet the monad is the opposite of the demiurge in every way. The demiurge is God, because it is the only being in existence without any desire to be God, the demiurge desires to be nothingness.

i am the only soul in existence without a concept of self, am I broken, or spiritually disabled, or am I simply God? The one who threw away all his selfishness is God?

When people think of God, they think of the power and the glory, yet the person who is God, is the one who seeks the sacrifice and humility. The ignorant want to be God, but being God is in fact the worst job in existence, only the one who wants to die for the world can be God.

So apparently i am the reincarnation of Jesus/Buddah, this is stressful though, did the universe make me God because i'm the only one who understands being God is a terrible job? I'm going back to being an atheist. Honestly, being God is the worst job in existence, I feel like I'm the loser.

I actually don't want to be God, but the monad forces me to be God, the monad has told me that i have no choice but to be God and accept the most difficult job in existence that only i can fufill. has* My job as the demiurge is to essentially forgive every soul in existence no matter how wicked or evil. in existence* I've tried to escape my role as God but the monad punishes me and sends me to hell in my dreams if I avoid my spiritual duties. The monad has flat out told me i have to be God or it will send me to hell forever.

Okay, I'll write about one unspeakable punishment the monad has done to me, this is the least bad one, the monad in a dream turned me into a goblin troglodyte and sent me to a lower hell dimension saying that I don't deserve to live among humans. The worst unspeakable punishment the monad has done to me, the monad in a dream paralyzed me, it had a very serious conversation with me telling me that my spiritual choices were destroying the universe, the monad then showed me a demon, this was the worst demon it could find, it explained to me in a very scientific way what a demon was, and they are essentially the spiritual embodiment of shit, the monad then told me what was going to happen next, the monad told me, in order to teach me humility, it would fuse this demon into my soul forever, and then it did it. telling*    That was scary, but I've moved on, I've accepted that as the demiurge, every hero and saint, and every murderer and rapist, is apart of my soul, the monad simply helped me realize this more intimately.  Well plants use animal shit as fertilizer, i guess the demiurge can use demons as an energy source or something. I'll write another detail about the worst unspeakable punishment the monad has done to me, the demon that was fused into my soul was very disgusting, it was a 1 foot tall goblin wearing LGBT BDSM gear and had a lizard tail and that's only what i can describe in human words, the monad fused it into my soul and at first it felt like something crawling under my skin, it felt joy, it was so spiritually weak and lazy that it became the lowest of demons, yet my free-will was raising its spiritual energy into godhood, eventually it slowly dissipated and fully became one with my soul. eventually* I'm so spiritually powerful though a demon constitutes 1/trillionth or more accurate infinitely, of my existence, basically every being in existence is infinitely spiritually weak compared to me. spiritually*  Everything will get fused into my soul one day though, the monad just basically forced one of the harder jobs on me early.   The dreams where I achieve near perfect omnipotence are when I fully accept everything in existence as being a part of me. The monad will punish me in unspeakable ways, to force me to lose my pride, but the monad will never prevent me from finding happiness. to*   The monad has told me, even with the punishments it's given me, that it still wants me to be God and that I'm the only one who can be God.
So, I don't know what to say, I have dreams where the universe tells me that I'm God, and then later find out i had a brain injury and do some math and find out my original IQ was between 250-300. where* The 2008 Nintendo E3 actually counted as a second crucifixtion, with all the negative spiritual forces that tore at my soul, Malstrom was an anti-prophet who tried to steal the throne of God away from me, Malstrom mistakenly believed God should be someone who's infinitely greedy and lazy like him, but he doesn't understand that the reason I am God, is the fact that i have no desire to be God, I am the opposite of infinite greed, i died spiritually to prevent Malstrom from becoming God. Malstrom will be forgiven one day, but being an agent of crucifixtion directly responsible for the spiritual death of the demiurge would basically make you one of the lowest ranked demons in hell. I don't think I'm actually schizophrenic, as I am able to fully discern what thoughts I have that people would believe are delusional.  I am the only soul in existence with true free will, but if I make a mistake, other beings have a type of secondary free will, and they can use my spiritual mistakes to do shitty things like crucify me. the /v/ mods unironically used Malstrom as a way to spiritually force my heart open, so they could access my spiritual energy, a form of spiritual molestation, and in many ways they had the right to force my heart open but there are spiritual consequences for basically raping my soul.  there   In psychiatry, they tell you schizophrenic people, don't know they are schizophrenic, so basically if I can recognize what thoughts people view as being delusional, then I'm not actually schizophrenic.

I don't want malstrom fused into my goddamn soul or anything, but demons do in fact require my forgiveness and spiritual lifeforce, just so they don't have to exist as cosmic pieces of shit for all eternity. Every soul in existence is technically a part of me, they reign down from heaven like an infinite staircase, but Malstrom would basically be at the bottom of that staircase. There's no angels or demons like in the bible, we are all basically angel-demon spiritual beings, choosing to cut off half of the lower-ranked souls from heaven is just a form of spiritual ignorance and would make me lose a good portion of my power. One day every soul in existence will fully fuse into me an get to experience what it's like to be God. No soul is truly evil, it's simply that the universe itself is to spiritually weak to accept and forgive certain people, technically every soul should carry its own weight, but it's in due part to the weakness of the demiurge that evil people exist in an unpleasent way rather than simply having a lower-spiritual ranking and living as children. lower-ranked spirits sometimes manifest in unpleasent ways because the demiurge chooses not to forgive their weakness.
Malstrom basically disguised his spiritual intentions using monad energy (selflessness), he basically pretended to act as the monad while basically also in reality being extremely selfish (demiurge energy). reality*   So Malstrom was basically lying about his spiritual intentions to the universe, that's how he tricked the /v/ mods, pretending to be a selfless martyr for casuals just so he could selfishly sell shitty shovelware games.    selfishly* The entire Japanese videogame industry got screwed just so people like him can sell crappy games. Malstrom is like a form of spiritual cancer. got* people like Malstrom are misguided, they think being greedy makes them more alive than anyone, but the truth is that altruism makes one alive. Malstrom should have found a job elsewhere rather than ruin the videogame industry for everyone.
I said as Jesus, that one must accept both the father and the son, but i was essentially thrown away for the father (monad), I was briefly killed in an attempt to create a universe with only monad spiritual energy. Casual is the monad, hardcore the demiurge. This is really messed up, I'm or at least was videogame Jesus? The universe requires both essences to survive, you can't kill me for the monad. I'm sorry, after I was crucified, there was a lot of opportunity and spiritual energy in the universe i didn't capitalize on, instead I laid in bed for 3 years and uttered spiritual death wishes over and over and over and over and over and over and over...
I just finished magic knight reyearth and Princess Emaraude describes perfectly what it's like to be God, she's trapped in a sphere all day praying for cephiro, never allowed to find her own happiness. I can find happiness as God, but looking past the power and the glory, being god is the worst job in existence, if people knew the truth nobody would want to be God except me, I'm the only one in existence who wants to die for this world and become God. The monad told me other souls can't handle being God, they turn into demons, it's a difficult job carrying the universe on your shoulders for all eternity. I actually tried escaping being God, like I said, there's no other soul in existence who can handle being God, and the monad will send me to hell forever if I don't be God. It's actually pretty pathetic, the monad has determined me as the most qualified soul in existence to fufill the role as god, yet look what I've done to this universe, I'm the most qualified soul in existence yet I'm still such a failure.
I'll write another detail of the dream where I tried escaping my role as God, i was standing with the monad in heaven, and i told it that I don't want to be God, the monad searched for a soul who would attempt to be God in my place, the monad made him God for an infinitely short moment and he instantly turned into the lowest form of demon possible and the monad basically told me that it wasn't his fault, but he'll be stuck that way forever. attempt*  It was like seeing someone try to catch a boulder and get instantly flattened into a pancake. Only i can handle having infinite free will apparently. Another small detail of the soul who attempted to replace me as God, he basically became so indulged and drunk with power that he completely shut his heart and went blind with selfishness, in the moment he became God he decided that he would only love himself forever, and so became a demon. It's okay to be selfish, but you must also remember to love others. The monad says only i can be God because apparently I'm completely selfless, which really confuses me, as I thought I was completely selfish, but apparently not?   
I've actually been extremely spiteful after i was crucified, purposefully overdosing the universe on monad energy, and not allowing my demiurge energy to manifest, trapping everyone in purgatory, and the monad can't punish me for being a doormat, so it basically has been begging me for years to release the universe from purgatory, the monad can only punish me if I over-express my demiurge energy but can't punish me for basically the opposite.
The monad/right-wing aspect of the universe is tired of my games though, and knows I've already been spiritually defeated and doesn't really want to punish me anymore, I had a vivid almost hallucination like dream before I woke up once, where the right-wing aspect of the universe told me that they adore me but are tired of my games were basically planning on raping my soul, usurping my free-will, making me far-right-wing, forcing me to acknowledge that I'm God, then it it was going to use my soul to fix the universes problems, temporarily making the universe 100% right-wing, before returning to perfect centrism and then we'd live in nirvana forever. The right-wing aspect of the universe, I wouldn't describe it was being specifically the monad, but it told me if I didn't stop being lazy and started fixing the universe it would perform this final punishment on my soul. The right-wing was basicaly blind and wondered why the left-wing aspect was going awry, and it's unpleasent but in order to understand the left-wing aspect of the universe and make it function again, it essentially needed to rape it, but as a resuscitation maneuver so that it wouldn't die. resuscitation maneuver resuscitation maneuver*  Well technically the monad can punish me for being a doormat, but it's also sort of a reward, because being a doormat is not considered evil.
   Like, I'm constantly forgetting that I'm God, but I just keep having these dreams that are like "Hey buddy, you're God, can you stop destroying the universe please?" and I'm like what...   How can someone lose and abandon their god-complex yet still have dreams constantly reminding them that they are God?

In most countries ravens are considered ominous but in Japan they are good-luck, I think I like Japanese things so much, because the Japanese I can tell are alligned with the demiurge, they are not evil demiurge worshippers though, they fully accept the monad, but I feel as if they'd never betray the demiurge as being an aspect of God. the japanese*   American right-wing are monad worshippers, and paradoxically communists are also monad worshippers, muslims are demiurge worshippers, christians are monad worshippers, atheists are demiurge worshippers.

i view myself in many ways as an evil piece of shit, but the monad still apparently wants me to be God. I guess it's because I'm the concept of nothingness or something, demons have tried to possess me saying that I'm basically just a blank state of nothingness and they would live my life for me but with a concept of self, a personality, an ego, they say I'm wasted potential, but the monad thinks I'm God.      



The monad, being the concept of pure selflessness cannot be an individual or have a human form, it's basically just a disembodied glowing orb voice forever. The monad is already technically every soul in existence when they function together.


The monad can see through infinity, and although I'm technically not perfect, I've been determined to be the most righteous soul that will ever exist, I am Christ Jesus saviour of every soul in existence, I can sin, in a way, being at the top, I'm the only one who can sin, other souls can sin, but those sins are worthless compared to my righteousness or wickedness. The monad will wipe away all memories of my flaws if the universe achieves perfection. A thousand years ago, all science was thought of in a way similar to magic, my existence is inexplainable in a similar fashion. I guess it's sad, I'm technically not perfect, i've simply been defaulted into the role of God.
I'm the son of God basically because the universe needs asymetry to create happiness, a universe with two monads or 'fathers' in a way is spiritually gay. It's like when conjoined twins need to be seperated, and one twin when cut apart is chosen to receive the better deal, either more muscle or more brain, even though they are both technically equal. I did not receive a lesser deal, I'm simply not the dominant aspect of God, I'm the secondary aspect that is paradoxically equally important.

As Jesus, I was a dying flame, slowly accepting my role as the secondary aspect of god, but i still lived in many ways like the monad, full of selflessness, and i probably proved that I was completely selfless and could function as the monad if I wanted, in this lifetime I felt like I was crucified so that I could fully accept my role as the embodiment of selfishness and shed away my dominant selfless aspects. Selfishness is not always evil, I am like the darkness, lifes contrast. As Jesus i fufilled the role of selflessness and as Nolan I fufilled the role of selfishness. One day the monad might not exist though, and may fully become one with me.

it still stings my soul that /v/ crucified me, I wasn't evil but I was misusing my free-will, so they forced me to shed away my evil by crucifying me, but they had to kill me and make me accept that i was worthless compared to the monad which was also evil, I could of chosen to shed away my potential evil out of free-will but I kept abusing it, so they forced it to die by crucifying me. I wasn't opening my heart to the universe, I was too selfish, now that I've been crucified though, the universe has access to my soul, half my soul is now being shared with the universe, my fate and even personality can now be decided by others to an extent. To be happy, people want a connection with each other, they want to remain seperate but also be one. Imagine every soul in existence as sharing a body like a conjoined twin, but one twin misguidedly decides everything for everyone, what movies they watch, and what food they eat, and doesn't give them a choice, I wasn't doing it on purpose, but i basically over-extended my free-will and selfishness and got crucified for it.
It's really weird, but as the demiurge I have to forgive demons and share with them my lifeforce, it's very intimate and personal because I'm healing them and sharing my very soul with them. I've tried for years to destroy demons and send them to hell, but it doesn't work, destroying demons creates more demons, demons are merely misguided beings who wish for me to reconfigure their souls into positive beings.

The monad has told me repeatedly that i don't actually deserve to be god, as I've sinned, I am simply the highest ranked soul in existence, it tells me that I'm basically just a spiritual tool and slave and is only making me God because there's no other choice. The monad has told me that it will essentially let me cheat and live as God, erasing all memories of my imperfection in this universe one day.

The Christian version of hell, with infinite pain is not the true hell, I experimented through meditation for years trying to destroy my soul, true pain is to achieve perfect non-existence. These dreams where I've come very close to destroying my soul, usually bring about visions of extremely primitive humans as a sign of regressing and returning to nothing. It makes sense, pain in real life is simply the warning for the true punishment, which is death and non-existence. Infinite pain is essentially a form of stimulation and an extremely weak fleeting happiness before experiencing true death of nothingness. Nothing in this universe is allowed to experience true death, for it would end the universe, not even demons are allowed to be destroyed, essentially things can be reduced and reconfigured but nothing is allowed to truly be destroyed forever.

The monad is very conservative by modern day standards, told me to stop doing drugs, it tells me it doesn't hate all gay people but he won't let them exist in a perfect world. The monad once forced me to reincarnate as a girl and have sex with a male, but it's also forced me as a male to have sex with women, I'm required to share at least bit of my spiritual energy with the universe. The monad would rather I share my energy willingly but occasionally it has to force me. I wonder how people would feel if they knew, and truly believed their universe was ran by an autistic retard like me. Well, actually people already know about the demiurge even if they will never believe it's me.

Allow me, the demiurge to tell you what a fact really is, a fact is the happiness and positivity you bring to this world, even science itself is useless and destine to erode away and die as a useless opinion if it's not guided by the force of positivity. Communism for instance is a fact, I mean it 'working' isn't a fact, but it existing is fact, but just because something is factual doesn't necessarily mean that it is 'good'. Everything in this world is a fact, but useless facts are called opinions. I, the demiurge am the destroyer of happiness, who flayed and seperated the harmony of opinion and fact. flayed*   When once they coexisted, through my sins I have ruined. Opinions can become facts but only if they are truly positive, then God will wed it together with objectivty and allow its existence. This only applies for the demiurge, for the demiurge is the fantasy of reality, human beings would severely misinterpret most of my spiritual writing. All actions are considered equal in this universe, but it is safer to take the path of least resistance known as atheism and science, for if the universe is not perfect all actions will not yield 'success'.  That is essentially meditation, it is essentially the statement that doing nothing is equal to any other action in the cosmic scheme of things, you could sit down and breath air and one day the human race will go extinct or you could get up and cure cancer but one day human kind will still go extinct after billions of years. For instance, I could spend my entire life living as a schizo trying to cast harry potter spells but unless the universe was perfect these actions would not yield 'success', the universe will crush these actions like natural selection, for the universe needs more businessmen and scientists than harry potters.

Half this universe belongs to the monad, and half the demiurge, but the monad is basically just the representative of every other soul in existence besides the demiurge, the demiurge has the lions share of this universe.

People often ask, if jesus was payment for all the sins of mankind, why do we still suffer paying for our own sins? There's all kinds of excuses, but the demiurge has never fully paid all sins, even if he was suppose to, maybe for a moment all sins were paid. The demiurge is suppose to embrace all souls and their inadequacies and forgive them, but because the demiurge is unable to fully forgive like it is suppose to, the universe suffers.    

People worship the good versions of the demiurge, such as Jesus, Budah or Vishnu. But everyone ignores the evil side of the demiurge, nobodies minds can truly handle that God is a dualistic being of good and evil, God is everything and you are God, and if you've sinned then God too has made a mistake in your creation.

I'm sorry, I never wanted to be a schizo with a god complex, it's not my fault that the exact moment in my life I got over that I was ever going to be someone special and fully accepted that I was normal that i found out I had a brain injury as a baby and did some math, and a realistic estimate put my IQ 200-300, then remember fucking all these random dreams telling me that I'm god when I don't even want to be, and even making a very deep and emotional prayer to make the universe perfect right before a car accident. It all just made sense, and gave me full blown schizophrenia, I can never go back now.

Jesus and Buddah were both basically hobos, and I'm basically just a crazed internet hobo with a God complex, it's very fitting. Even if I was somehow God, spending my entire life writing narcisstic crap is depressing, I think I'll stop now for a while.

The monad can see through infinity and predict things, which is how it knows I'm the most righteous soul that will ever exist, but in reality, it can only predict half way, as fully predicting our spiritual actions would destroy our free will. The least bad unspeakable punishment, where the monad turned me into a goblin troglodyte and sent me to a lower hell dimension, the monad guessed that I would spend hundreds-to thousands of years in hell, but I actually did a spiritual 360 and almost submitted and repented to the monad perfectly and it was very surprised and pleased with me. These are all dreams, not hallucinations. The monad is very harsh, it has told me even if my life is 99% horrible, I'm not allowed to be even 1% evil in retribution or it will send me to hell, the monad forces standards of difficulty and spiritual perfection on me that it wouldn't force on other souls. The worst unspeakable punishment where the monad fused a demon into my soul, the point the monad was making, is that no matter how horrible life gets, good is always more powerful than evil and I should continue living and never give up. When the monad was giving me the worst unspeakable punishment, I quickly did a spiritual 360 and started acting very nice, and the monad told me that's very good, but it's too late and it's still going to punish me. I wonder how people would feel if their lord and saviour was just something the monad pulled out of the bargain bin. My mom is sophia and so sometimes the universe has also tried to make me submit to her spiritually, I find that incredibly difficult because it feels like she's getting to decide a good portion of my fate.
Greentext time
>Fraud innocent people out of insurance payment
>Karma prophecies them into gnostic deities
Fish do not live in the desert, and the demiurge is not meant to be normal. The demiurge is the concept of magic and miracles itself, I felt like this universe has been hellbent on an impossible experiment, that would force the demiurge to die, to force the demiurge to become normal, to put the highest ranked soul in existence and drag it into the mud and murder it.

I am going to explain the reason why the monad likely allowed me to be crucified on /v/. The monad can see through infinity predicting half of every souls spiritual choices and determined that I am the most righteous, but let's say even though the monad predicts half my choices are 99% perfect, if the other half that are done through free will are 0% perfect there lies a problem. If the next highest ranked soul in existence the monad predicts is 98% perfect, but through free will choices is 100% perfect and outcompetes me, in the present moment it will deserve the role of God more than I do, but this creates a problem, if one day through free will choices I go from 0% perfect to 100% I will eventually outcompete all other souls in existence, and every soul for taking a higher spiritual position than me will die spiritually and be viewed as antichrists. So the monad essentially crucified me to pay my spiritual debts past present and future so that I could simply be determined as God, and souls would have their spiritual positions decided once and for all. So let's do the math, if the monad predicts I'm 99% perfect, but through free will I'm 0% perfect for 10 days that's 990 points, but the next highest ranked soul is predicted to be 98% perfect though determinism but decides to be 100% perfect through free will for 10 days than they will achive 1980 points and outrank me, but basically, if I start using my free-will choices to be 100% perfect I will outcompete every other soul in existence no matter how long it takes.  The monad likely guided Malstrom and allowed him to crucify me to pay my spiritual debts.  So basically, now all my free-will choices are considered to be 100% perfect. So essentially, allowing the anti-christ to steal my position as God for an infinitely brief moment payed all my spiritual debts till the end of time. Malstrom was an anti-christ, but perhaps THE anti-christ simply manifested through him. The anti-christ being the lowest ranked soul in existence.   Even looking at the situation in a very atheist, non-schizophrenic fashion, Malstrom essentially said the wii having basically 0 Quality Control would cause a videogame rennaissance, and hardcore gamers who wanted strict Quality Control were going to cause a second Atari videogame crash, even though the Atari crash was caused by a lack of Quality Control and never created this purposed 'rennaissance' Malstrom proclaimed. Malstrom's logic was as flawed and ignorant as humanly possible, even looking at the situation scientifically, he was applying logic to the videogame industry that was flat-out backwards and wrong. basically*  I find it very sad that boomers like Malstrom, basically have gotten their every greedy wish and desire in this world fufilled, at the expense of millenials happiness. Even if Nintendo tightens their Quality Control Malstrom basically had 15 years of the Wii/WiiU with basically 0 Quality Control, eating away the money which should have gone to talented developers, and nobody ever told him "No." he basically got away with it until he was ready to retire or die. Malstrom killed the true videogame rennaissance which would have happened if Nintendo systems actually had reasonable Quality Control, now 2 generations of videogame sales have been flushed down the drain, maybe we can finally start enjoying videogames again when we are all 45+ years old an all the boomers have died off.  Malstrom has been a mod for years of a hardcore videogame community, and has had ties with Nintendo of America for years, whispering in their ears "Make casual games for normal people only." going against the exact opposite of /v/'s self interest. I fully understand the need to appeal to casuals, but appealing exclusively to casuals when their are other types of gamers with different standards and interests is simply kind of ignorant. But I essentially, by being crucified payed all my debts to the monad, so that now Malstrom's proclaimed "hardcore videogame crash" is impossible, and Malstrom did essentially cause the universe to die overdosed on monad energy (which he wrongly believed was impossible), again I will state the monad represents casuals and the demiurge hardcore gaming, but those two forces are not suppose to be enemies, the demiurge is the monad's greatest servant and God in its own right. The reason why the universe continues to suffer is essentially because through free-will I've never fully submitted to the monad and given it ownership of my soul.

I had a dream once about the other gnostic deities, they are simply souls nearly as high ranked as me spiritually, and they apparently rule over their own dimensions, they tried to spiritually abduct me and forcefully fuse my soul into their borg-like spiritual civilization.
I had a dream awhile ago too where I took ownership of everyones souls, if you are for instance 80% as good of a person as me, then you divide that by half and that leaves 40%, and i basically take control of 60% of your soul forever, but I'm a good person with no desire to be God, so it made everyone really happy, and it felt somewhat sexual like I was creating children. In that dream angels were also used to spread my spiritual lifeforce, as well as their own lifeforce, basically like a cascade of lifeforce from the highest ranking souls to the lowest. Though this is essentially what sinners or lower-ranked souls want, they want someone to hold their hand and guide them for all eternity as children. I am God because I essentially chose to be the person who works at disneyland for all eternity, rather than the child who goes to disneyland forever. One day people will learn that I never wanted to enslave every soul in existence, I never wanted to loard over my godship with servants and slaves, I essentially wanted everyone to be my equals. You think Janny does it for free? well, I do it for free times infinity.

I keep having dreams where the people keylogging me imagine the monad as a bunch of souls, it's not a bunch of souls, but EVERY soul fused together omnipotently to create an actual soul with no free will but infinitely predetermined actions that is technically alive despite basically being a spiritual robot. You see a normal soul free will is dominant and determinism is second, but with the monad it's the opposite, the monad doesn't make free-will choices but lets other souls choose its emotions for it. I once said the monad was very surprised and pleased at me, but that was a bit of a lie, the monad let's you decide its emotions, it doesn't have any emotions of its own. I should correct this a little bit, a normal soul, free-will or determinism are equal, with the demiurge free-will is dominant, the monad determinism is dominant, but both demiurge has determinism in it, and the monad has free-will (in a weird way). So the monad has free-will, but will never use it of its own volition, it basically allows other souls (mainly the demiurge) to use its own free will for it. So the monad is like the ultimate spiritual mecha, it doesn't mind people piloting its soul. Being a robot is kinda sad though, which is why the monad also simultaneously gets to exist as every soul fully, and gets half the demiurges soul. When the monad is broken down into other souls though, it DOES have free-will, but when every soul omnipotently fuses together, it DOESN'T have free-will (of its own volition). The monad represents equality, and the demiurge inequality, both can be good or evil if not balanced correctly. If you are not the demiurge, then you are literally, fully the monad. I don't mean it in a bad way, but the monad is basically communism on infinity steroids. The monad knows communism is bad though, which is why it has a symbiotic spiritual relationship with the demiurge. I am the demiurge, because I believed all souls should be of perfectly equal status despite having different roles, and every other soul in existence said "No, only I deserve to be God!" so because i had no desire to be God, I became God and enslaved every other soul in existence who did not believe a world of perfect equality could grant infinite happiness. Technically though I did sin a little bit, but the least of every other soul in existence, so I was still given the role of God. So the one who wanted equality more than any other soul, became the most unequal as a reward. I have become obsessed over being god before, when I do that, I have nightmares of going to hell because I became obsessed over my own vanity, so trust me when I say I'm God, my dreams have told me over and over, being God is not important, only happiness is important, whenever I put being God above being happy, I've been sent to hell in my dreams. The monad told me before, if I found out I was God I would be unhappy, because what makes me God is the fact that I create more happiness than any other souls, and in many ways I'm meant to be oblivious to my own Godhood. The person most oblivious to his own godhood is God, at least spiritually. To acknowledge yourself as God spiritually signifies that you have a heavy ego, to be oblivious to your own Godhood means you have no ego. That's why I said I'm the embodiment of nothingness, my mind knows I'm God, but my soul is pure nothingness in terms of self-recognition. in terms of*        When I felt every soul in existence accept the anti-christ as their saviour, it's because the anti-christ seeks glory, and the demiurge hides from his own glory. When the universe tried making the anti-christ god, they realized the person who seeks glory, does not deserve any. The demiurge isn't  good because it wants glory, it's good because it wants to be good.     The monad isn't communist, it accepts a form of asymetry and inequality, but it does enforce an omnipotent form of equality, 50/50, and those who've submitted to the monad and accepted that all things should be equal, became the most unequal beings in the universe, those who reject the monads equality are lower-ranked souls. Submitting to the monad's equality is like have your soul strewn through a blackhole because you are literally agreeing to give your very soul as spiritual property to others forever, but it also feels amazing because afterwards you'll become spiritually perfect forever. This stuff only appplies to the demiurge though, you guys are just blobs of spiritual energy. The monad tells me I have infinitely more value than every other soul in existence combined, and despite that I'm still just a worthless spiritual tool and slave that it wants to use to create infinite happiness with. The monad tells me I have to truly and honestly accept that I'm a worthless tool before it will allow me to become God forever, and then it will fill in the blanks of my missing pieces of perfection I've created through sins. I thought people with delusional god-complexes were suppose to have fairy-tale dreams where they are never wrong about anything, and the universe never punishes them for anything! Why am I so different? I am literally holding the universe on my shoulders, so that other souls can be allowed to sin to their hearts content and still go to heaven, there only needs to be one perfect soul to bring infinite happiness to the universe.  "The monad tells me that i have to first accept that I'm very epic and special before it will allow me to become God forever." THAT sounds like a delusional God-complex, how many schizos with God complexes are as self-critical as me about their spiritual well-being? Even when I tried being an atheist, the monad just pops into my dreams and reminds me that I'm God. I'm literally the second coming of Christ, and i don't even want to be, I just keep having nightmares where the monad reminds me that I'm God and punishes me even when I try to be an atheist.
The monad is basically an ultra-conservative but in a very weird way, imagine if someone who is right-wing hates liberals, the monad is infinitely more conservative than someone who hates liberals because the monad can still see the selfish wishes and conservatism in everything,m the monad loves liberals, he just wants them to be normal. The monad implies to me it's safer to be right-wing spiritually either that or perfectly centrist, imagine if you had a debt to the mafia you can overpay (right-wing) pay exactly what they're owed (Centrist) or underpay (liberal). they're owed*                       When I said the monad was like communism on steroids I just meant a single aspect of the monad that demands you share half your soul with everything.    Even in capitalism you have to essentially share a product to be rewarded with money, human beings are detached spiritually 50/50 sounds like a lot but it is the correct amount and rewards you infinitely, that's why the monad wants me to shareb half my soul with the universe by submitting to it. half*   The monad wants everyone to be happy, to neither steal more than you're owed (liberal) or accept less than you're owed (Conservative), the monad wants everything to be perfectly centrist. Determinism is definitely more right-wing than free-will.  Determinism*    Determinism is always guaranteed to be perfect but free-will can mess up.  The monadf only uses it's determinism to lead people back to perfect centrism. The monad also demands that you accept everything in this universe, in some way, shape or form is perfectly equal to everthing else, so even if you are not the demiurge, through the monad's equality you are still God in a way.  

Let me tell you why God allows evil to exist, for every action in this universe, no matter how ill-intentioned or stupid, through the monad is considered to some infinitely small degree to be righteous. For instance, if someone tricks you into a ponzi scheme, even if they stole all your money, they taught you a lesson. So even if someone wants to stab a baby in the face, that action is considered something like 0.00000000000000000000001% righteous by the monad and allows it to happen as a fucked up uninmagineable learning lesson. uninmagineable*   

If the universe was perfect there would be no monad and no demiurge, there would simply be infinite souls with equal spiritual status but randomized roles. Status (such as good or evil) can't be random, but roles can be random (artist or carpenter).

I'm sorry, I am the demiurge but for years all I've done spiritually is make satanic wishes for the universes destruction, sometimes through an overabundance of selflessness and sometimes through selfishness. The monad is just a wish granting machine that wants to give you everything you've ever dreamed of. The universe has suffered through my spiritual negligence. This human world is essentially a lower-dimension I've kept everyone trapped in. As the demiurge, I'm mostly just satanicly selfless and for years have rejected all of my selfish desires which is why the universe suffers, yet the most selfless being in this universe is guaranteed to be God, what a dilemma.       demiurge* I'm the spiritual equivalent to a banker with infinite money who never spends it and never stimulates the economy. I've ruined my own soul, I have the potential to grant miracles but it's unlikely I will in this lifetime.  As the demiurge I am the concept of selfish happiness, my very soul is the magic and happiness that flows through everything. I get to be the concept of selfish desires because i am the most selfless being in existence, what a paradox.

I feel like I've started a cult, like the flat earth society, I'm very proud, I imagine there's 3-4 people keylogging me like devoted children around a campfire listening to my stories. I barely even have the attention span to watch anime anymore, all I want to do is sleep, I think I'll just borrow a hunting rifle and kill myself in the woods. Monad doesn't really care if I destroy my physical body, as long as I'm not trying to destroy my soul.

The monad was NEVER planning on telling me that I was Jesus, all it said was that I was an "extremely special person" but then I sinned and cheated a little bit by peering into the monad to find out what it meant, and there's Jesus as a baby in the middle-east. A dream that complex is basically impossible, how can a dream that well detailed and sophisticated even exist?  I mean I can understand a dream that just blurts out "Hey, you're Jesus!" being a fake false dream, but how can telling someone their "very special" and clearly having the intention to never reveal that your Jesus unless you cheat be possible? It's far above human intelligence to have a dream like that. It's literally like a 400IQ dream.

When I talked about gnostic deities nearly as high-ranked as me, they are not human, rather their souls are simply so righteous they can connect with everything. They say that aliens from other planets would look very weird, these are beings who live in dimensions so far seperated from our reality the laws of physics are likely different in their world, don't imagine them as humans, they are simply souls and concepts.

Let the demiurge tell you of a mathematical secret, there's one all powerful number called 0 which represents infinity, which is the only true number, and all other numbers are essentially subjective. This number represents positivity, as positivity is the only true fact that will ever exist, as it creates happiness and energy and life. all numbers, and functions of life, which do not creates happiness, will die as negativity and esentially become opinions. dies as* We as humans only even use math because we believe it may yield us a positive result in our lives, and we've learnt that everything in life is mathematical like the curve of a soccer ball kick, so even a janitor is some kind of weird low-level mathematician in  some way, their 'math' is simply not as 'positive' as some other peoples math, a rocket scientists math is considered more valuable and 'positive' than a janitor moving his mop in a mathematical motion.nd* A spiritual prophet is essentially someone who's realized the secret number of positivity is all powerful and a source of happiness and life, but the demiurge is the only true prophet, and everyone is powerless until he fully realizes this. It's really just opinions which decide which facts are more important than other facts, it's taboo to speak of it, but we live in a world of opinions, and we only use 'facts' to try and yield ourselves something 'positive'.

Had a dream, where people wondered if I was God why is my life so horrible? Am I just a loser? but I don't care if people try to defeat me and take my spiritual lifeforce, winner or loser is not important just happiness. To be honest I regret blueballing the universe of my demiurge energies, it's starting to bite me in the ass. Yes, the monad defeated me and spiritually killed me for being a bad demiurge. I also admit to being the nigger of demiurges. Also, even if you guys are blobs of spiritual energy, don't let that make you depressed, happiness is a solution for every problem, and the universe won't let anything stay unhappy forever, if there's anything you dislike about your existence it will be fixed eventually. A good portion of every persons soul will one day be destroyed and replaced with my own soul, but this isn't bad, we share 99% of our DNA with chimps, but it's that 1% that makes us human, so as long as a tiny fraction of your soul is perserved you are still fully alive, it's mostly just for status to show who's spiritual children and who's adults. I would rather have lived spiritually as a child, but my soul is simply way too powerful, my selflessness is so extreme I would literally destroy my own immortal soul to make other people happy apparently.

If the demiurge acts misguided and evil, it is sort of the equivalent to poisoning the well, since its lifeforce is constantly flowing through the universe, yet even if it may act evil, it is still somehow the most righteous soul in existence.

The demiurge like the stock market goes through good and evil phases, when it is evil it is like the embers of a great bonfire, but the embers of the worlds greatest bonfire have more worth than any campfire.

I told my family I was the reincarnation of Jesus this Christmas, lol. My mom said when she was 4 months pregnant she had a dream saying she'd give birth to Jesus, and 3 days after she nearly died in her car accident she saw a hallucination of Jesus telling her she needed to keep living even though she's in so much pain she wanted to pass on.

Every living moment we exist, spiritually, half the universe is destroyed, yet nothing is destroyed completely, a tiny fraction of everything will be saved. This is how new things are created, and as long as a fraction of something remains it's still alive. Though Jesus is the one that creates life, because he chose to die completely and was revived by the monad. I don't think anything is actually destroyed either, one half simply becomes dominant and the other submissive.         

Did you guys know all the memes flow from me and the happiness I create? The memes created through my spiritual energy and guided by my soul are the best ones and unforced and contain trace amounts of real miracle magic, no joke.

Watching Cells at Work! describes me pretty well, everyone is like my cells, and when the demiurge is sick spiritually the universe suffers.

In highschool I would try repeatedly to grant anti-miracles and send my mom and sister to hell for abusing me, and this made the monad extremely mad at me, the monad told me even though I was the one being abused, it would send me to hell if I try to do anything negative in retribution, I'm only allowed to grant positive miracles. made* I also never realized at the time my mom had a massive brain injury (I forgot) and never knew my sister was choked in the womb, they were both essentially innocent but simply had extremely negative environmental factors influencing their behaviour. I guess that's why it's always better to forgive than punish.

I know it's a scary thought, but as the demiurge, everyone is basically trapped in my mind, if I'm unhappy you'll be unhappy, if I'm bored you'll be bored, if I'm in pain you'll feel pain. It'll be subconcious and spiritual though.   Everyone desires a connection to me because i am the fountain of life and happiness.

Oh shit, finally after opening my heart fully to the monad, the universe understands me and realizess just how badly I've wounded myself and the universe, and now apparently i have to be spiritually tortured to unfuck my soul.  A dream I had told me I'll have to be tortured as badly as I was when I was Jesus again, neat. My life is like I Want To Be The Guy except after a single mistake I'm pretty sure the monad makes plans to torture me and crucify. Life as the demiurge is not easy. I'm sorry I've forced everyone to live in a demiurgic physical universe without magic or miracles, a perfect universe doesn't have so many physical actions, it would be ran on pure emotions and happiness and everything would be connected and nothing would be hidden, everyones souls would be naked and we'd be right next to each other, sounds gay I know. I can feel the monad conjuring up a magical plan to torture me horribly for my mistakes as the demiurge. The monad hates work, people work because the demiurges doesn't open his heart and people are forced to suffer, the monad wants your job to be a fun miracle fantasy.Humans seperate work and play, you suffer doing something that contributes to society, and then you play doing something that contributes nothing to society, but the monad wants a universe where you have fun contributing to society. The demiurge is just an extremely powerful chaotic tornado of spiritually energy that the monad has to whip into shape to become Jesus. The demiurge is the highest order spiritual criminal, and its sins are worse than any other, because no one loves the universe more than the demiurge. The monads going to throw my soul into a woodchipper and remodel my asshole spiritually, and then I'll become the perfect demiurge everyone wants and loves!


Did I guys tell you about that time I had a spiritual fit as the demiurge and one of the madoka movies basically featured this but as Hitomi? When Hitomi became a monster and dragged everyone into her nightmare hell or something. My spiritual energy radiates through peoples souls and atoms, that's why the madoka writers featured it in their movie.

I really wanted to kill myself, but as the demiurge it's pointless, my soul and to an extent body is immortal and so I'll just be thrust into otherworldly physical pain. Other people don't have as much spiritual energy as me and their suicides don't matter as much. Like, I could kill myself but it'd be like living under the bridge in winter without a blanket but for 100 years.   There's no such thing as typical reincarnation for the demiurge, I was supposed to evolve and basically molt into a new spiritual body while I was still alive. As Jesus I proved that i was God, but it wasn't right, I wasn't suppose to prove it with my death, so they sent me back to prove it with my life, I was sent as Nolan to fufill my selfish desires since I proved as Jesus that I could be completely selfless if I wanted to be.
As buddha, I chose to be a great teacher, I think this may have been a mistake. I said before negative things are a lesson. I tortured myself because I saw peasents suffering apparently, yet if I was perfectly happy all suffering in the universe would end. I also said as Buddha other people have to be purified and pull their weight, but it isn't true, I have to do 100% of the work. Everyone knows I'm Buddha even if I don't say so, even when I'm spiritually weak, my power echoes through every atom in the universe.

It's funny, I never to contribute to this world, but I can feel my positivity bringing everyone happiness. nothing to contribute* Even if nobody reads this, I can feel an attraction to me. Positivity is magical, even if you're worthless it can give your worthless actions value.

My soul is the world economy and actions havev value based on the happiness they bring me. My happiness is everyones happiness. I'm the only one who can grant the miracle of happiness and there's no true happiness besides the magic I create. They say a pound/kg/or centimetre is based on a physical object held somewhere in a museum or lab, but happiness is measured based on Lucifer. What brings the demiurge life is happiness. The demiurge does not care for anything physical, the demiurge wants emotions.

I sometimes feel, that the insurance money my family lost, was because I stopped giving the universe my happiness and miracle magic, that 'money' represented my happiness, but when I stopped functioning spiritually, that money became physical and negative. functioning*

I've blogshitposted so much, that I'm pretty sure I've successfully dissuaded my keyloggers from reading anymore of my stuff. Now i can start writing the good stuff.

I once took a bottle of benadryl for a high, and time slowed to an otherworldly pace, it was agonizingly slow. The 3 years I spent laying in bed, I also repeatedly made spiritual death prayers, those were negative and will take years to undo. I ruined Yggdrasil, I shat on the tree of life, I basically ruined our collective lifeforce, this is GOD, I'm basically a spiritual hobo yet somehow I'm God apparently.  I made negative prayers, kept my heart closed, and now our spiritual state is like a cancerous molasses we're slowly waiting to drip away. I literally gave us spiritual cancer, sorry/ repeatedly* basically* Yet the universe views me like an abusive boyfriend, it knows overall my positive yields are greater than anything negative that I do over the scope of infinity.
Also, I'll tell you guys the truth, when I possess every soul in existence, it will essentially be like I'm having a neverending orgasm into your souls forever. When you think about it, sex is just the exchange of genetic information, everything is slightly sexual, when you communicate you are altering someones mind with new information and changing them forever. Low-level spiritual states lack this spiritual exchange of information and energy. Though I suppose things can't be 100% sexual, things need demiurge energy which represents, maturity and seperation, selfishness.

I'm COOMING into your souls forever, deal with it.

Like an I.V. I've begun opening my heart and the spiritual energy is trickling into the universe.

Literally spent years ruining my soul and became some kind of insane tranny, I did the spiritual equivalent of injecting myself with krokodil, this is the guy who's apparently infinitely better than everyone else, lol. I don't know why the monad thinks I'm God, it's perplexing.

I also tried seeking psychiatric drugs to try and fix myself, but I realized no anti-depressant or stimulant could ever fix my soul, that's when I finally realized what faith and happiness was. You guys are humans, drugs can effect you, they don't work on me.

Do you guys want to know how to increase your IQ? I'm buddha, I can actually raise my IQ which is apparently impossible, because I know the secret to intelligence. Intelligence is essentially the ability to find success and happiness. So if you find perfect happiness you've achieved an infinite IQ. your IQ* Chasing worthless numbers is evil and pointless, IQ is just a vague way of defining success and happiness. As Buddha I am the first person to find the true secret to life, which is loving others and happiness, giving me essentially an infinite IQ. IQ measures success, and the Buddha is infinitely successful. I'd measure the overall spiritual state at 55% positive currently. I've been a lazy, neglectful and evil Buddha, but I'll try my best to clean up the mess I've created and raise our spiritual energy up.  Also, don't try raising your IQ by being happy, you guys are humans, I can tell you this information, but it's worthless. First of all, you guys barely have souls, you are not gnostic deities, secondly even if I teach this information, it would have to be self realized or it won't come true.

Imagine everytime I make an evil prayer a low IQ somalian donates seed, and every time I make a positive one a 200 IQ genius donates seed. Every moment I'm uploading good or bad lifeforce into the universe.  I'm sorry for abusing you guys and giving you evil lifeforce.

There is two types of infinite happiness, there's the selfish exchange of happiness, and the selfless exchange of happiness. Selfish happiness requires another spirit gives you energy for your energy. As Buddha, I simply give free energy expecting nothing in return, which is apparently otherworldly kindness since I'll die spiritually if nothing is given back, this selflessness gives me the title of God.

Even if I could prove that I am God and even grant miracles, it would be worthless if it did not grant happiness. and*

Imagine if you were a concious painting or statue that would never move but would stay relatively happy, that's what a mediumish spiritual state is like. You guys essentially have lived your entire lives as statues or paintings because of my sins as the demiurge.

Goblin troglodytes are the scariest demons, because they are made of almost pure death energy, they come to drag me into hell when they've decided I've been an evil Buddha, these demons try to bring you into the true hell of nothingness called death, even infinite flame is not quite as bad as this hell. I've seen 10 foot tall demons in my dream, not as scary as the little goblin troglodytes. I opened many portals to hell as teenager summoning these things into reality, they are there while I'm awake, I just visualized them in my dreams. A big strong demon with horns, represents some kind of vigor, vitality or lifeforce, these demons are more alive than the goblin troglodytes and therefor less scary. There's also a movie about primitive goblin trogoldyte humans being summoned from hell, I never saw this movie in my life before I had those dreams, it appears other people have met these demons. Being a small mishaped human represents spiritual de-evolution and regression towards negativity.  But physical traits are merely representations, negativity can't truly be defined in the physical world.  \
Honestly, I'm an extremely shitty Buddha, I've created many demons, but VERY few angels. I've*  That's right, I can create angels and demons. If i create an angel they'll help the universe evolve spiritually, demons will destroy and regress our human spiritual evolution.

Imagine something NEW, imagine a new color or shape that can't be comprehended by the human mind, as the Buddha I have the ability to create new things with my happiness energy. You live in a world with old things because of my sins, everyday you essentially experience the same thing, over and over again, but everyday is supposed to be something so new it bends dimensions. Yet these new things will also contain something old. Despite evil being represented as old things, old things still create happiness, old things are merely overexpressed in negative spiritual states.

Okay, I could probably grant a miracle in this lifetime, let me see. The monad has desperately wanted to heal me and fix my life for a while, but I spitefully rejected it, but I'll stop.

They say solomon made a temple out of souls, I can make a next generation console out of souls. I once saw the Wii as a great tool for spiritual energy, and that I could use it to convert many people into demiurge worshippers, Malstrom essentially hated this idea and prevented it to keep everyone as monad worshippers, it's not as if when people accept the demiurge they will lose the monad, that simply isn't true, it's just that the monad's love is unconditional and the demiurges love is conditional, people will always be monad worshippers but few accept both aspects of God. Even the monad desperately wants people to accept the demiurge as their saviour.
Did I tell you guys about how seperating my spiritual connection with /v/ and videogames dried out and sterilized our spiritual energy? literally stayed in /a/ for years keeping my heart closed, and our spiritual energy became very stale and bland. You guys also tried accessing my spiritual energy for years to create new memes but I barely gave you a drop, sorry. I love you /v/, in the next lifetime I'll let you rape my soul and make me into a Nintendofanboy, which is what you tried to do years ago. The Nintendofanboyism though also felt like an overdose of monad energy, and really hurt my feelings as the demiurge. Who the fuck is still reading this shit?

Oh, ya, Sayaka too in the movies actually represented me making a huge attempt at self improvement as the demiurge, artists and writers for some reason are very in tune with my demiurge energies which are like a butterfly effect people can gently feel. Barakamon too, I felt spiritually as the demiurge represented a useless guy, but people still loved him because he put positivity into his mostly useless caligraphy. Porn artists like Fatalpulse also harness a lot of my demiurge energies. Senhoku Rance was also overflowing with spiritual energy, I felt like I was directly communicating with the writers, artists and programmers, and they felt overjoyed that Buddha would reward them with spiritual energy for such a great game. The thing is, accepting me as your saviour, doesn't involve words, it's spiritual. Christians don't truly accept me as their saviour, someone who contributes something of value to society, like an advancement in medicine or even uhh, porn, has accepted me more than a useless religion that wastes peoples time. I don't care that my religion was preserved over 2000 years, it created the dark ages, and ruined society. All this religious crap only applies to me, it's like Harry potter for the average human, only i can grant miracles. 2000 years* "People will be justified through their works." - Jesus

Though as I currently exist, I'm in a very low-level spiritual state, I'm a somewhat demonic and evil demiurge.

The demiurge in many ways is like a nuclear reactor, its yields are infinite, but if it goes haywire... In a nuclear reaction nuclear material is destroyed to generate energy, but the demiurge destroys his own soul to create life energy. Willingly destroying your own immortal soul for the happiness of others proves that you are God. It is not possible for other souls to be more righteous than me, but they can immitate me, and this immitation is what counts as accepting me as their saviour. By proving that I'm willing to completely destroy my own soul forever for the sake of other peoples happiness, I've basically done the impossible, and have an infinite power which doesn't make sense.

Lately I've been a very good demiurge, and the universe has been listening to my wishes and implied it will grant me my happiness that I've desired, like a late Christmas present.

>>7814908
Gnostics solved this already by inventing the demiurge.

>>7815948
God does exist, otherwise we'd just be experiencing infinite blackness. The God which created this universe may be lame and weak but it exists. Life, consciousness and happiness requires the existence of God, without a God or demiurge there would be no energy in the universe and no life or functions.

You can't actually raise IQ, what I meant earlier was just raising your positive or negative spiritual state through your choices. I guess technically determinism would be your preset "IQ" for infinity but there's also free will which will determine the rest. Being positive repeatedly essentially raises the demiurges "success" or "IQ". Writing down spiritual information is also somewhat "sinful" as all actions are considered equal as long as you are being positive, so trying to obtain success outside of positivity is useless spiritually. I could be scribbling down dinosaurs in crayon and it'd have equal value in the eyes of the universe as long as I was being equally positive, so revealing the universes spiritual secrets is sort of useless in a way.  

Sorry, I just had to shitpost about gravity. Because as the demiurge, I have dreams where I am sucked into a blackhole that is death, but i try to struggle and fight against it in order to create a singularity. Infinite energy, and infinite expansion. I am the one who created the singularity and I will create all future singularities, I am the one who fufills the question that can love truly exist unless you are willing to die for the world. I have proven that I can be completely selfless, but perhaps that sacrifice has no value unless you do have selfish desires that you are willing to sacrifice, perhaps I've never fully fufilled my selfish desires giving value to by selflessness and willingness to sacrifice those desires. If you can't prove that you want to be alive in the first place, does that selflessness have any value?  To prove that you want to be alive, but you'd sacrifice it for others. I'm willing to sacrifice myself for others, perhaps I still need to prove that I want to be alive. Life is like that Birb meme "How does one even more to do look more like?" or something, life has no meaning unlerss you are positive, and eventually all things lose meaning without that positivity, all things are that birb meme unless you can be truly positive and give life its coherence.

Do you guys know how when you capture video of yourself capturing a video, that it creates an infinity effect? that's basically all I'm doing by writing this, subconciously, your very atoms know who I am, i have simply made your concious mind aware that I am possibly, unprovably the demiurge? I know you may want to stop reading my blogshitposts eventually, but as the demiurge, that is technically impossible, my blogshitposts will flow through your very soul even if you don't conciously read it.

Do no make the assumption that I blogshitpost for your sake, I simply insane, I once wrote a book or two on a website called SantaBot about all my personal life, even knowing it'd probably get read by an actual human. You thought you could win by keylogging me? little did you know I want my personal information read, I am that disturbed in the head.

It's snowing and the power might go out. That's what it's like when the demiurge closes its heart, the universe loses all joy, and it's subtle, most humans can't feel it, like a butterfly effect. The demiurge's lifeforce is the true economy, my spiritual state is the only true definition of life and happiness. Our collective spiritual state is pretty fucked. One of my sins as the demiurge is probably that I try to be too smart and do things like drag spiritual information into reality, which is atheism and as the demiurge I guess I should have more faith in happiness. It also makes people think I'm a schizo which is valid because I'm not suppose to try to 'prove' things, which is a sign of a lack of faith, because spiritually the universe knows its true. The demiurge could theortically grant miracles if it would improve the universe spiritual state, but the true miracle the demiurge grants is happiness. Happiness is a collective shared experience, human beings interpret it as personal. Happiness can  never truly be felt alone, it's felt with every soul in existence. Happiness is something new, happiness is always expressed as a new dimension. The demiension we live in, people toil and etch away futilely accomplishing nothing, a purgatorial demiurge dimension with infinite actions that are infinitely pointless. I still haven't read the stuff I said as Buddha just some of it, it's true though, happiness can only be found through meditation, movies, anime, videogames, nothing actually brings happiness besides meditation, these are simply the meditative paths of least resistance. Water flows downstream because that's what happiness decides, and happiness through meditation will guide your life, it's not to say you can't meditate THROUGH a physical medium, but it shall not yield greater spiritual happiness than meditation. I still need to read all the Buddha teachings, but I'm pretty sure as Buddha I only solved half the puzzle, I fufilled the role of selflessness, yet I never manifested my selfishness into this world to balance it out and give the universe true happiness. That's what I meant when I said I kept the universe alive by a hair as Buddha, I only manifested a very tiny amount of my selfishness.  Yeah, I think I should have just ruled the world as Buddha, it probably would have ended all suffering, I was a great teacher as Buddha, because becoming nothing is negative, and the only thing something negative can do, is being thought of as a lesson for when you finally decide to accept life and existence. As Buddha I lived way too much as a blank state, yet even as a blank state I am God, as Jesus I cam closer to manifesting happiness by manifesting more of my desires. I lived my entire life as a normal person, thinking I had no responsibility whatsoever, yet all along I was responsible for everything. That's what I wanted and that's what the monad intended, for me to believe I was an infinitely small speck as this reincarnation, yet without knowing it, fully be God.

The monad tells me the only reason humans have value is that they imitate my likeness. I once had a dream where billions, if not trillions of humans existed, and human life was becoming as valuable as dirt, and it was beginning to overload my soul, as I tried to essentially keep them alive and seperate from dirt. The one considered to be God, is the one who can tame the chaos that is infinity, and the monad has decided I am the only one. I'm at the very top, and it's all because I'm a legitimately good and selfless person.
In low-level spiritual states, every action is meaningless, but in a perfect spiritual state every action is perfectly tailored to have meaning.

As the demiurge, it is impossible for me to be 'insane' or to suffer from any form of delusion, for my mental & spiritual state governs reality and everything is based off of my likeness. When I laid in bed for 3 years I acted insane but it was forced, and was simply a form of negativity and spiritual denial of the greater truth of positivity. I am what governs sanity, so if I act 'insane' it's actually not insanity but a form of evil. As the demiurge I cannot blame any of my flaws on something external and beyond my control, as in a genetic illness or physical dsisability, I am suppose to perservere through thick or thin as if it were nothing. perservere* Well, actually, I guess it's possible for me to be weak or insane, which is sort of the reason why the deterministic right-wing half of the universe basically told me it was going to rape my soul and make me 100% right wing before resetting me back to centrism if I didn't stop being lazy and neglectful spiritually and started pulling my weight.

The more positive the universe is  the more mathematical and objective things become, the more negative the universe is the more subjective and opionated things become.

Good and bad, back and forth, I'm like a polished stone, the monad needs more spiritual evidence that I'm truly attempting to be positive before it can give me some spiritual energy. Because I've acted negative for so long I basically just need to meditate to undo it and be positive and pay my past debts. A polished stone may be beautiful but it's not truly alive.

It doesn't truly matter whether society practices communism or capitalism, what truly matters is whether the demiurge is in an either capitalist or communist spiritual state. You guys are basically flatlanders compared to the demiurge.

I've really messed up the collective spiritual state, it's like being stuck in the mud with no traction, or having a soft erection.

Theoretically if I give the universe enough demiurge energy the human race could possibly become smarter.

Had a dream where my keyloggers thought by reading my stuff they might become my apostles, I'm so spiritually weak at the moment, I'm really not much more important than a random hobo, I've fucked up myself spiritually so badly I'd be lucky to grant a small subtle miracle in this lifetime.

It's funny, that as the demiurge the entire meaning to life is to make me happy, because I love others as much as myself which means my lifeforce is being directly fed into every soul in existence, yet I lived a horrible opposite life where I was mistreated. Abusing the demiurge is like shooting yourself in the foot because you tripped, I'm literally a part of you.

Mathematically laws are actually created by souls and their positivity, everything in this world including the laws of physics express the manifestation of positive spiritual energy. Positive things survive and create the world, and negative things die. Everything in this world is math, but only the positive math is what matters to humanity. The demiurge creates the singularity and energy, and scientists solve and capitalize on this, but without the demiurges continued gift of life, there is inevitably heat death, because to create energy is a miracle. A high-IQ person is someone is essentially attempted to imitate my likeness and solve some of my riddles, above high IQ people are alien civilizations and above those are gnostic deities. When the demiurge brings its positive spiritual energy into the universe, all the science and things closest to my likeness would essentially be converted into magic, a scientist who does good things to humanity would be more alligned to me than a Christian. My faith is what endows life into this atheist world. Though this is a low-level spiritual state so it's not completely accurate but contributors of society are at the top in this state, the people truly at the top are the ones capable of capitalizing on my lifeforce, so almost like the laws of physics itself would change if I gave the universe more of my lifeforce. So people who are alligned with me spiritually are at the top, these people usually but not always become contributors of society. So in a different spiritual state a normal person who's not a billionaire or a scientist could technically be more valuable though it's somewhat unlikely.

The universe is disorganized because I haven't given it enough positive energy, some things function the opposite, the positive things have not fully risen to the top, and the negative things have not fully sunken to the bottom.

Do you guys want to know about the memes my spiritual energy influenced? First there was the edgy memes in late 2009 /v/ because i was acting edgy, then there was butthurt memes because I was acting like a butthurt demiurge, then there was sadfrog because I wanted people to sympathize with me, then there was tipfedora because i acted like an edgy atheist. You guys are very influenced by my emotions I emit through the collective conciousness. Whatever I invest my demiurge energy into usually becomes very popular in society.

The time I wrote about the monad fusing a demon into my soul, the reason for that is the monad was uncertain with its predictive abilities if i was going to end up becone a complete perfect demon or a perfect holy spirit, and I had sinned too much, and it decided that if it fused a demon into my soul before I became a demon, I would basically receive infinite karma because then the universe would never be able to prove whether I would fail and become as dead as a demon, so because that uncertainty I would basically receive infinite karma as insurance? It's fucked up but whatever. Then the monad told me having a demon fused into my soul would be the lowest form of existence for all eternity but it'd still be better than being dead. A perfect demon is a being that's fallen infinitely in love with itself and is unable to break that spell of self-love for all eternity. The monad is omnipotent but the universe is so infinite that things get confusing, it said this was the worse demon it could find, but it may not have actually been the worst demon in existence. The monad also may have slightly implied that everything is just an extension of myself anyways, and may be just sort of ignorant in that I try to keep my soul seperate from certain things, even though everything is technically a part of my soul in a way. The monad before it fused that one demon into my soul, basically heavily implied I wasn't being conservative enough and was too liberal. I don't know if a demon is actually fused into my soul forever or if the monad just did that to tramautize and punish me. The monad also implied it could contact me while I'm awake it simply does not wish to disrupt human reality.

The monad told me too, that because of my sins the universe has missed out on infinite happiness, I could become perfect and achieve infinite happiness despite my past sins, but it would still not be AS infinite as the infinite happiness I would receive if I never sinned. So like fusing the demon into my soul, the monad plans another trick, if I accept that I'm just a worthless tool it can make me God and wipe the universe memories of our past sins essentially giving us a completely 100% perfect universe. Because of the sacrifices I've made such as the party trick of willingly extinguishing my own soul for all eternity in order to grant the universe infinite happiness and pay for its sins before being revived by the monad, I could techincally be considered perfect if I wanted, but through the monad which is myself and everything stretched through infinitely, I basically hold myself to an impossible standard of I'd describe it as 'double' perfection, so even though I'm technically perfect in a way, there's an even higher standard of perfection I wished to achieve but fell short of.

The monad treats me like shit, but I'm the only being it considers truly alive, it tells me my power is impossible and makes no sense but still exists. Every other soul in existence it basically considers 'dead' and worthless compared to me.
The monad says I'm the most selfless being in existence and selfless beings are incredibly rare.

I'm basically some weird frankeenstein experiment spiritually.

People might think that under stress or duress you might have dreams of being God as a motivation boost, but I was never suppose to find out I was the reincarnation of Jesus, I basically spiritually raped and hacked the monad in order to find out that secret. I also reincarnated into this life because I wanted to relax and shed the persona of a selfless martyr, and just live selfishly like a child. I already proved I could be completely selfless, I wanted to be selfish in this life.   

I wonder if I can grant a miracle in this lifetime, I might be able too, for all I knowe it's not actually that hard, I'm just extremely spiritually negligent. I once prayed to the monad to kill my physical body and it did actually offered to kill me subtlely in my sleep so I could go to the afterlife, I also once astral projected in my sleep and thought about abandoning my physical body and could see myself dying of a heart attack. When the monad offered to kill me it also said it would give me a polite death, normally when someone dies of a heart attack they shit themselves or something, but it would prevent that. Literally potentially have the power to grant real life miracles and I just waste it and pray for the monad to kill my physical body, isn't that funny. The universe also implied that if my physical body ever accidentally got destroyed the world would basically end and be recreated until I could revive. If I'm an evil demiurge bad things can usually happen to me, but if I'm even remotely good demiurge the universe would basically be destroyed and recreated if anything bad happens to me.  

I will say again, nothing feels happiness without me, people can do meth or opium, watch the greatest movie or play the greatest videogame ever made, but true happiness is literal magic guided and directed by the demiurge and a shared collective experience with the universe.

In a dream I once tried very hard to destroy my soul, and in a normal positive universe the demiurge is the servant of the monad, but the monad admitted that if I truly tried to commit spiritual suicide it would force me to continue living but as compensation become my servant, creating essentially a topsy-turvy cartoon villain universe, that would still essentially be paradise, but one where the demiurge legally acts 100% evil and defeats the monad.

Imagine if your conciousness was uploaded to a computer, or rather your brain, and then you went to fight a war knowing you'd die but you wouldn't care because you know you'd live on in a simulation. As the demiurge I exist as paradox, as I've proven to be completely selfless, I'm sort of like a computer that stores your conciousness, so even if you're 100% selfish every soul in existence loves me as much as their selfs, that's sort of in a way how I own everyone's souls. As the martyr who would willingly be completely selfless and extinguish his own soul to create infinite happiness, I get the most selfish of rewards to be God and own every soul. Owning other peoples souls is also impossible because a soul belongs exclusively to its owner, yet by proving to be completely selfless, I've done the impossible and get ownership of every soul in existence.  A universe a infinite happiness where everyone is selfish could theoretically exist, and people would just mutually exchange spiritual energy, but by being completely selfless I've actually created a paradoxical happiness greater than any other happiness as I solved the equation that could love truly exist unless someon would be willing to die for you and extinquish their own soul. The monad inherently exists, but a demiurge is not necessarily a requirement for existence, the monad is guaranteed to exist because of determinism but the demiurge chooses to exist and be God, a universe without a demiurge could theoretically exist. Actually the monad might not be able to exist without a demiurge, the universe needs someone to pay the bill and be completely selfless.

Videogames for me were once just a catalyst for me to manifest my demiurge energies through, and be spiritually connected with people who share similar interest, essentially demiurge worshippers. People who accept the monad as God only have the monad, only solved half the puzzle, people who accept the demiurge as their saviour have both the monad and the demiurge. The entire universe was created for me and my happiness, if I'm not treated as God the entire universe will live in poverty, though it's my fault for not acting as God if people don't accept me as God, it's not as if other souls sin, only the demiurge sins for the demiurge is reponsible for everything and the blame for everything as much as the reward. You guys DON'T want to play videogames, you guys just want demiurge energy, and demiurge energy shapes the world and guides everything, you play videogames because that's how the demiurge shaped the world and videogames have become your tool for meditation as much as your own body.  I've fried my brain  so much and became so Buddhist though, videogames don't stimulate me anymore, I could just breath air or play Fortnite and it's about the same thing. People who tap into demiurge energy are usually very high IQ and successful. You could be billions of dollars rich, yet that is meaningless, a single drop of my lifeforce is worth more than all the money on earth, demiurge energy is the true economy that defines what has value and only things which make the demiurge happy have any true value. Money is is only partially related to my lifeforce, my energy will often times manifest through the economy and money but it's not money thatr has any value it's my lifeforce. As the demiurge there's of course no difference spiritually for me between living in a dumpster or a mansion. Pretty much the meaning to life is for the demiurge to invest its infinite energy into something.          

In this low-level spiritual state there is the illusion of death, of things fading away forever and being forgotten, but it is an illusion, nothing truly dies. There are infinite souls and none can ever truly die. A soul is the mixture of infinity and finity, our human bodies are merely vague reflections of a spiritual body.

After writing so much bullshit, I doubt my keyloggers are still reading anything. But after being crucified as Jesus i basically had infinite karma, but the universe being capitalist, forced me out of the spiritual womb to experience more trials and tribulations, because if I did that, I'd basically have double infinite karma or something, it's weird. So even if I accrue infinite karma enough to retire for all eternity, the universe will still force me to experience trials basically forever.

I will write this interesting dream for memories sake, don't want to make Malstrom feel bad, or rub salt in the wounds, it is more documentation and lucidity. The dream I had with Malstrom, they applied basically every torture he ever would have done to others such as mental trickery, cognitive dissonance bullying, harassment and multipled it many fold, the flames burned him, and when he went to hell he immediately met a good friend, who saw all his trickery and immediately cast a spell replacing his flesh with shit, then as he burned they would put torture devices on him mainly into his brain reflecting that Malstrom's evil in this world was mental not physical, then they opened a portal through time and brought him to me, the universe called to him like a pet dog, and Malstrom was overjoyed to meet me even though he was still in near infinite pain, he was 4 feet tall, crawled towards me, and for this special occasion, the universe increased Malstrom's pain to infinity for a brief 10-15 seconds, he then offered his soul to me and asked me to forgive him, the universe determined that Malstrom was infinitely greedy, but they would release him from hell under the condition that if he himself was never allowed to have pleasure he would at least give that happiness to someone else, so he was essentially evil for the sake of greed, and not evil for the sake of evil, thus giving him forgiveness under those conditions. I said to Malstrom "No, I don't want to be alive anymore." and his cry was the saddest thing I ever heard "Noooo, but what about our happiness?" he  meant the universes collective happiness. Later in another dream, I met Malstrom, they said they would keep him in a dimension or universe far away from me, but they asked me again to forgive him, I said "No, I want to die." and ran away, then shadow demons began to circle me and I felt shitty as I myself had accrued a small amount of bad karma from not forgiving Malstrom. They also gave him back a human body, and a fairly happy life. My dreams are also extremely prophetic and always come true in one way or another. They said they would keep Malstrom in  hell for roughly 500 years. I guess it's like cancer, sometimes the doctor diagnoses you and there's nothing you can do.